Topic:   In an age where electronics are everywhere and the need to be stimulated has seemingly increased, has this hurt our kids? If yes, how so and what do you think are some effective ways to repair the damage if any?



Recently, I ran across an article online  written about a dinner game called the cell phone stack game.  The point of the game is for everyone to stack their cell phone in the middle of the dinner table as they sit down.  You are not allowed to reach for your phone during dinner.  The person that does reach for their phone (before the check is taken care of) then has to pay for dinner for the entire table.  The goal of the game is to force people to put their cell phones down.   Now honestly, I thought this was the most ridiculous game EVER, until I paid attention to myself and a group of my girl friends while at a party.  We sat in a room together, talked and ate for HOURS, but there was no point and time where one of us didn't have a phone in our hands.  And then it dawned on me, our phones have taken over our lives.  The bad habit of allowing the world to have access to our time, all the time, has created some new issues, not only in the lives of our children, but in our own as well.

    So how do we correct the issues that have risen out of the joy of unending connectivity?  Well here are a few things:

1) Do as you say. It is amazing how much we tell children to "get off of the phone (or Facebook) and be productive (or go outside and play)", but how many times are we getting off of the phone or internet to be productive?  9 times out of 10, NEVER.  We are on the phones in the car, checking email walking to the building, and checking Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram in the grocery store.  Children learn by example.  If they constantly see you on the phone, what do you think they will perceive as normal!?!  Do as you say and they will follow.

2) Take the time out to set boundaries for technology use.  Give yourself and your family the gift and a technology free dinner.  Now you may have to remind your family, or yourself, that you will not perish during the hour and a half of dinner.  The world will continue to rotate on its axis, and issues that come up, can wait.  This is not just about the outside world.  Times, like family dinners and car rides, are when children learn how to properly communicate with others.  As a parent, you are their primary educator on life skills.  If they only see you  on the phone from the time you wake up until bedtime, then that is exactly what they will mimic.  You must take the time to set boundaries on when it is appropriate, or not, to use technology. 

3) Find activities both adults and children can enjoy . So many times children refuse to go play or participate in activities because they are uninterested.  Take some time to talk to your child.  Find out what they are interested in.  EXPOSE THEM TO LIFE and all of the beautiful sights, sounds, and cultures living around us.  Getting kids involved with things they love allows them to open up and grow, while also allowing them the opportunity to meet other children (and you, other parents) in which you all have something in common. 

5) Let's get real!  The reality is that we (adults) defend the use of chidren's cell phone many times because we don't want to be judged for our own constant usage or for using technology as a distraction while we attend to other life duties.  Things come up, and iPads are a great distraction for children, but there must be a time where you PUT THE PHONE (or tablet)  DOWN!  That emergency you HAVE to take, will either be there when you get done with dinner or an outing, OR the adult at the other end of the line will FIGURE IT OUT!  Seriously, how many times have you accidentally left your phone at home and when you returned to retrieve it found 3 messages:  1) shear panic over an issue, 2) the "why aren't you answering" message, 3) the "No worries, we figured it out" message.  You are NOT the savior of the universe.  When forced to, people will resolve issues whether you are available or not.  Its all about balance.


    In the end, lets not only talk about the effects of technology on children, and look at all of our lives honestly.  We have all become dependent on technology.  It's always at our reach and the moment it is not we all have a panic attack (yes me included).  Take a moment away to rest, refresh, and just hang out with people in person.  Face to face conversations boost our creativity and allow us to release emotionally.  Spending time with children and showing them the proper time and place for technology will begin to help mend the gap we have created.  What are some things you can do to step away from technology for a while?  How have you tamed the use of your technology in the past?  As always, I want to hear from you.  Comment, like, and share below :)  

Topic/Question:  Why do we not talk about the sin of homosexuality in church anymore?


OHHHHH I've been waiting on this question!  Now for those of you that already have your jaws clinched and your stomachs in knots, I just need you to

    So before we broach the topic of why  we avoid talking about homosexuality in church, can we first ask the question, do you want to talk or preach/condemn?  Now that may seem like an odd question, but think about it from where I'm standing.  I work with students that are able to have an intelligent conversation about politics, school, social issues, and their futures.  If I invite them to talk about a topic, I am giving them space to voice their opinions (whether I agree or not) and have a conversation about the topic from the social implications to the biblical implications.  Never in that conversation would I begin to monopolize the conversation to push my opinion onto them.  I give them the biblical principles I have learn, encourage them to read it for themselves, and gain an understanding.  After that, they know I am always there to talk.  With that in mind, I also will not allow someone to push their agenda while talking to me.  If we are going to talk, let's talk.  Meaning, we need to both listen and respond appropriately and make sure that there is a clear message being transmitted. 

    Now, one issue I believe we face in today's church is that we talk about so many things that are comfortable, and that will not cause a stir or start a debate.  I think the fear is that some don't want to be classified as zealots, bigots, or homophobic radicals.  I have seen, and been a part of conversations, that went from friendly to deadly, when homosexuality was introduced as a topic.  One person, in particular, classified me as a "manipulative holy roller", which was interesting because I was only asking questions to understand their viewpoint in the conversation.  I've also gotten that I'm too liberal by trying to understand another person's viewpoint on the topic.  What I found is that our society is based on an "I'm always right" principle, when in reality, my compass always comes back to my bible.  Even when I'm wrong, the bible is the mirror that shows me the reality of myself and my surroundings.

     I also think there are a group of people who truly don't know how to handle the conversation.  They are aware of their beliefs, but they are not willing or able to sit down and have a conversation about homosexuality or any other topic that have been classified as sin.    The uncomfortable nature of the topic sends them into a tailspin of silence.  It makes me wonder if the opportunity was given to have an open and honest conversation, without judgement, if they would be able to do so. 

    What I have learned by reading my bible is that your approach is everything!  The example I love of Jesus approaching someone that he determined was living in sin is the woman at the well.  He didn't approach her throwing stones.  He sat at the well with her and had a conversation.  In the course of the conversation, she voice her reality "I don't have a husband", and he in loving kindness let her know that she was right.  He listed how many she had prior to the one she was with (that wasn't her husband), but NEVER have I read that in a yelling, angry, or demeaning manner.  He stated facts, and moved on.  His love, honesty, and willingness to talk to her (even though the law said he shouldn't) drew her in and allowed him to minister.

    With that in mind, I'll end with this.  As believers, we are instructed to love others as we would love ourselves.  When we approach topics like homosexuality in the church, I begin to wonder "do you even like/love yourself?"  The manner in which you approach others should mimic the manner in which you would like to be approached.  I don't feel we think about that often enough before addressing each other.  How many positive, life changing conversations could we have if we approached each other the way we would like to be approached?  How much more could we say and demonstrate God's love for all if we just followed the command which is to love.  You won't slap someone in the face that you love because you disagree, but you will correct them and give them appropriate information...why?  BECAUSE YOU LOVE THEM.   So why do you all think we don't talk about homosexuality in the church?  More importantly, why is this a conversation that must remain in the confines of the church?  Can I talk about it over lunch at Subway with a friend that may hold a different opinion than my own?  Let me hear from you!

So if you haven’t already heard, I’ve decided to cover 30 topics in 30 days here on Transparency’s Stage.  WHY, you may ask?  Well for a couple of different reasons.  First, I need to become a more consistent in postings, and I think this will be the jump start I need.  Second, and MOST important, I’ve had a rough couple of months.  Between family illness, working two jobs, helping to close one of them down, and learning to do another by myself, my writing began to wane and die. 

While I’m thankful for all of the transitions happening in my life, I want to reach December 31, 2014 knowing that, without a shadow of a doubt, I pushed a significant part of the purpose I’ve been given out.  I want to make a positive, empowering, edifying impact of the world in which I live. 

Now with these writings you will get posts which are beyond serious current event topics, pop culture issues, the MOST random topics (my friends are amazing for the randomness), religion and spirituality, and personal life questions.  Feel free to leave me a topic at any time to write on.  As you send them I will continue to write them! At the end of the day, I hope these blogs encourage healthy and respectful conversations about issues that concern us all, and also infuse some humor (because I’m a closet jokester).  So sit back, get your reading glasses and beverage, and let’s have a conversation or 30!   I’m excited about this journey and appreciate you taking it with me.  Now to see where it takes us….  I hope you’re ready :)